Full Circle

A year and a half ago, my little K3 was hit by a truck in front of her transition school. Those of you that know the story followed all the surgeries, bone grafts and implants she went through to restore her broken jaw and all the missing teeth. It was a very tough time for one scared little girl who developed coping mechanisms to get through the process...

Of course, one of her mechanisms had four legs and a tail, but whatever works!

Yesterday, that story came full circle...

After months of preparation, her store-bought teeth were finally ready for installation. And so, Asthmagirl, K3 and Dental Dog went to see the reconstructive dentist.

There was the site preparation for the installation of her new bionic teeth...

Checking to make sure everything fit like it should....

And two hours later, her first look at her new teeth.

Take a moment, I still have to mop up when I look at the wonder on that face...

After a hug from the dentist, K3 announced on the way to the car that the one thing she wanted in the whole world was Brewhouse Mac and Cheese from the pub. We placed an emergency order by phone, picked it up and sped home. When we opened the bag, we found that the manager had slipped in a container of their famous No Doubt Stout ice cream! What a lovely gesture to mark such an enormous occasion!

Yes, I made her show me her teeth at least three times this morning. I still can't believe we've come full circle.

Sorry, I have to go mop up again...

AG out!

Adjusting

Over the weekend, TOG and I spent some time adjusting to K3's diagnosis and talking about how to plan for it. Since the diagnosis happened mid week, he was either waking up early trying to talk to me or I was staying up late trying to talk with him. Having time to process together was very positive!

As much as we've always known what K3's issues were, having it spelled out for us and understanding which of her challenges might get better and which are 'as good as it gets' simultaneously helped to clarify some of the steps we need to take for the future and succeeded in scaring the crap out of us. TOG particularly had a couple nightmares which I totally get. There's normal fears, and then there's having your fears defined and waved in front of your eyes!

However, I don't want to paint too gloomy of a picture. K3 seems far more relaxed and at ease then I've seen her in a while. It is a big step for her to go from knowing she's different but not understanding how or why to understanding what does and doesn't work for her.

I spent a long time looking for the right picture this morning. The picture above reminds me of how much joy she has in her heart... And it makes me wish she could find a full time job as a whale tale holder!

How was your weekend?

AG out!

PS ~ Seahawks won!

Preparation K

This week has been crazy, but crazy busy. The auction is going well, but it's like I could work 20 hours a day and there'd still be the same amount of work tomorrow. So I'm trying to just pace myself for now. I'm working early and working late and still trying to squeeze some quality time in with K3.

Last night we went in together on Pizza. (I've hired K3 to do the dishes two days a week so I don't have to! This gives her a little spending money.) Afterwards, I tried to teach her how to play cribbage. She was a little leary because TOG told her I cheat. This is sour grapes because he can't beat me. So we played a few hands and then she said she was done. She looked me right in the eye with that unwavering honesty she has and said "I don't know why dad says you cheat, you're just lucky!"

I love that kid!

We have less than a week left before we sit down with the doctor and go over the tests and learn her diagnosis. In a way, I feel like her future is very much at stake with this diagnosis... how much or how little help she'll get, overall expectations, prognosis... the whole thing. In recent years, I've been very happy not having a word to apply to my little K3 yet now I'll get one. And while it won't change a thing about who she is, I'm kind of sad about it because people attach all sorts of belief to words and whatever the word is, that's what people that don't know her will believe about her.

The bright side to this situation is that it won't change a thing about how K3 sees herself. We prepared her well and she came through all the testing with a strong sense of self. I think she'll be okay with whatever the diagnosis is.

But we're taking Maddie with us to the final meeting, just in case! There's nothing like the united front of a girl and my her dog!

AG out!

Letting go (or not)

One of my favorite shots (above) of a girl and my her dog. While I've been doing a lot photography for work, I haven't had "fun" with my camera in a while. Shots like this remind me that I need to quit leaving it in my car and bring it in at night.

I haven't been putting much into the blog recently. While there's a lot going on right now, I'm trying to be mindful of K3's privacy and just gloss over the surface.

Testing with the autism clinic has begun, and we sat through a 2 hour intake session last week where we discussed her disability and it's impact in detail. Over all, I like the psychologist. She doesn't quite "get" K3 yet (who would after only two hours?) but she was sensitive throughout the session and went out of her way to make K3 feel really comfortable with the process.

In the meantime, K3 and I continue to try to find the balance in other areas of her life. There has been talk of doing things she has not done before and I find myself really wrestling with decisions. On the one hand, I want her to do the things she's capable of doing, and on the other...  I want to keep her safe. And yes, I'm still examining the decisions around letting her ride the bus last year and the accident. I know I'm not to blame directly, and I'm not sure I could have prevented it ultimately (it might just have occured in a different time or place) but my gut told me "no" and yet I wanted her to grow, to have the opportunity. So I said yes even though I had significant misgivings. Sigh...

That doesn't mean I can swing the pendulum the other way and allow my "gut" to be my guide. My gut would love to keep her safely in the house where supposedly, all would be well!

It does mean that I'm wrestling with basic decisions that concern K3 much more. And it's not just the accident... there was an incident a few weeks ago where a young lady (similar to K3) was killed by a neighbor boy that she knew. It's hard not to project that onto K3. It's harder still to talk to K3 about safety awareness when it includes people she is used to seeing in the neighborhood.

I'm happy to report, that through it all, K3 remains happy, funny and sweet. One of the biggest results of the accident is that she and I have grown much closer. And while I'm aware that she could end up depending on me perhaps a little too much, I think for now that closeness helps us navigate the next steps for both of us.

I love that kid.

AG out

Quantum Leap

Today my little K3 turns 20. I no longer have a child in their teens!

It has been a dramatic year for K3... she's had some exciting experiences!

Beginning with her high school graduation last year

Getting her first nephew! (and realizing he was all that!)

Living the dream and going to Seaworld to see Shamu!

 

Then the accident and all the subsequent surgeries....

Sitting in a pub with Mom and Dad...!

She's grown up a lot this year... (and yet somehow retained all of her sweetness and innocence)

I know she's ready to face the challenges in front her. She's one heck of a groovy kid.

Happy Birthday my little boo boo girl! Mom loves you so much!

(the rest of the family does too, but I'm not authorized to speak on their behalf!)

Hugs and Kisses!

Mom <3

The View

The view looking south from the tip of Vancouver Island is nothing short of amazing. I've shot it in all sorts of weather; summer, spring and winter and I never tire of it. The Olympic Mountains of Washington State make a fabulous backdrop to the Strait of Juan de Fuca.

I think the cloud above looks like a tornado!

The weather was extraordinary and TOG and K3 loved exploring the rocks and tidal pools.

They look so tiny out there!

I think K3 was looking for critters in the rocks.

Barnacles...Not as exciting as seeing fiddler crabs, but we'll take what we can get!

TOG was really hoping to see seals. Although we saw some on the ferry ride, they didn't stop by during this visit.

The weather on this holiday weekend is blah. In Seattle speak, "we'll be lucky if it doesn't rain"... and rain... and rain...

Since TOG is working, I'll be looking at these shots over the weekend and remembering what a lovely time we had. It just doesn't get any better than this!

What are your plans for the weekend?

AG out!

Wide Open Wednesday

Here's a blurry pic of K3 I snapped going out the door to dinner in Canada. She did a little shopping and was very happy with this outfit. I even loaned her my sandals so she could feel extra groovy. She promptly fell in love with them and inquired about whether I really liked these as much as I thought I did. Twerp.

As an update:

We did not make the deadline for the insurance in terms of getting K3 in for tooth rebuilding. We are now in appeals mode.

The guardianship paperwork is nearly complete. But without a firm diagnosis of her disability, the outcome is iffy.

Thus a referral has been made (Thank you Dr. M for coming through yet again) to a neurologist who will examine K3 and tell us who-knows-what.

I made K3 sit with me and help me fill out the questionnaire the neurologist sent. I don't know which is more depressing, the dang questionnaire or the flippin' guardianship application.

We are seeing more frequent incidents of her disability sneaking into our daily lives... little blank spots that come up when confronted with new challenges... situational anger over changes in her environment, or even discussion of any potential changes. Any rosy picture I had of the guardianship is evolving daily.

I wish I could bury my head in the sand and pretend that we didn't have to deal with this. But instead, I'll keep pretending to be courageous and resolute.

I'm in discussion with one of the other managers at work who deals with the county we live in. It seems like it would be to our advantage to allow K3 to be evaluated by our local government disability counselors following the resolution of guardianship, something I swore I would never do after the birth to three debacle. But, there may be some short term funding available for at least a year. Which would be awesome as I'm totally disgusted with the school districts transition program and would like the funding to access an outside vendor, specifically the agency I work for.

So there you have it... a series of ugly conversations headed our way... doctors, judges, court advocates, disability counselors...

I'm totally and completely gloomed out just thinking about it, but hopeful that it will all benefit K3 in the long run.

She's totally worth it.

AG out!

PS~ In terms of K3 in the pub, we're not encouraging her imbibing alcoholic beverages. She had a sip of cider and that was about it. She prefers soft drinks and is really only there for the pub grub!

I'll take torque wrenches for a thousand, Alex...

Maddie worked her little Chihuahua butt off and got K3 ready for her check up at Dr. J's, her reconstructive surgeon. The nurses are very nice, but sometime I think they're a little jaded about how uncomfortable these bone graft/ implant procedures are...

"Hi K3! You look great! Hopefully it didn't hurt too bad this time..."

"Well, yeah... it hurt a lot. Because it wasn't just the implant, Mom says I had a bone graft too."

"Oh, yes...so you did" flipping through the file, "and apparently we took the screws out of your jaw from the last bone graft too. No wonder it hurt!"

Yeah... no wonder it hurt.

With the six month anniversary of the accident coming up in two weeks, we're trying to complete as much treatment as possible before the insurance closes out our claim. So next Friday, Dr. J says we need to come in to test the implants.

On the more mature implant on top, they plan to do a torque test.

[photo borrowed from these guys]

I know, I cringed too. But apparently that's a standard test for implants. I glanced over at K3 and she didn't understand... I must have had a horrified look on my face (or a torque wrench floating above my head) because they immediately offered to refill her pain meds. On the newest implant, they thankfully just do an ultrasound to make sure it's embedded correctly in the jaw.

Fortunately, Maddie is ready to work double shifts next weekend... talk about dedication!

 Once the implants are tested, the dentist can make new impressions and start building her new "store bought" teeth!

I can't believe it's been almost 6 months since she got hit by the truck...

What a journey...

In the meantime, K3 and I have been discussing the options around the guardianship application. There are variables on how the parties involved want to handle life issues like medical decisions, voting rights and marriage rights. Even issues around her "estate" and how her money will be handled. After a while, we put the paperwork to one side and gave K3 a facial...

Because you want to look good for your torque test...

Sorry, I just can't move past that!

Off to feed K3 breakfast before I go to work. Have a great torque-wrench-free day!

AG out!

Tap, tap...yawn

Good morning...

I'm tired. Feeding two people and bathing two people and medicating two people... well, like I said before, only one person gets well taken care of, and it's not me. But I'm on schedule with all of K3's meds and cleaning. Myself, not so much.

Today is her follow up appt with the surgeon. Hopefully, she's well on the mend.

In the meantime, I'm putting in weird hours at my job, not visiting other people's blogs and sleeping sporadically.

And watching Deadliest Catch! 'Cause that's a must!

Picture taken at CatchCon 2010.

Yawn...

AG out!

Ack!

Trying to get ready for work in the morning AND get K3 medicated AND clean up the kitchen means very little time for blogging! So this will be quick!

The shot above was taken at CatchCon while I was waiting in line for boat tours. It's one of our Washington State ferries coming in to port.

K3 is making process. We thought it would be just an implant, so having an implant and a bone graft was a little more painful than we thought it would be. She is doing well, but is still on the cream of wheat. We aren't even up to milkshakes yet. For entertainment, we've been watching a lot of Monty Python's Flying Circus and trying not to laugh!

The brute squad has been on the job, I just hadn't mentioned them. I stayed up late processing photos last night....

That's K3 behind the ice pack!

Cassie making sure K3's hand is as clean as it can get!

An exhausted Maddie, taking a break in my lap while Cassie and Fiona oversee K3's healing process!

Okay... off to dispense cream of wheat and vicodin. I'm doing a half day this morning because I'm a dope and didn't take enough time off.

Hope your day is all that!

AG out!