Reflections

It's not like me to miss a month of posts. In fact I never have. Regrets all around but no excuses.

Life has been and continues to be... vibrant. I'm theorizing that this very vibrancy added some time to my recovery from January's asthma abyss. But with February behind me, March finds me very buoyant and able to make plans and enjoy the journey now that my head is indeed above water again!

With plenty of time to reflect on my silly asthma, my family and my job, I find I'm able to enjoy the moment more. And certainly to treasure all the blessings in my life. I think there's a mental healing as well as a physical healing after a medical downturn. And I am letting it proceed at it's own pace.

And I'm positively savoring new things. Whether its a new recipe or a new water bottle or a new photo op, I'm feeling refreshed. I'm enjoying my new ipad, with which I took the above picture... and I'm renewing my love affair with my trusty Nikon, which I drug all over the UK last year.

Now, if only I could take such a refreshing approach with filing my taxes or cleaning my house!

 Hugs!

Heavy Duty

The Old Goat and Madeline did some heavy duty nursing over the past week.

As did K2 and the rest of the Brute Squad.

And K3 of course.

Thank goodness for nurses, both 2 legged and 4 footed.

Warmly, AG

PS ~ special shout out to the lovely MPM who has her own nurses that are making a difference!

The Pharmacy

Since Thursday. Some tried, some discarded, some continued....

And still I woke up this morning at 4:30 with horrid breathing.

Back to the Dr. today.

Looking for my optimism. I think its around here somewhere. Probably hiding behind one of those dang bottles.

AG

The Happy Place

I'm just working on finding my happy place right now.

Thank goodness for TOG and his patience and support as we work through this lung festival.

I don't know what I'd do without him.

In the last week, we've gone past so many benchmarks we thought my asthma would never hit. We have definitely had to rethink how we treat my lungs. I'm realizing that it will take me a long time to recover and be able to walk any distance much less ride my bike or hike into the hills. But it's a happy thought right now and I'm going to hold it close.

Dreams are good.

There goes my alarm to take more meds. Reality. Such as it is.

Warm hugs,

AG

Ruins

 I love this picture. This was taken at the Aryn Islands off the west coast of Ireland. At first glance, it appears to me as a New England village by the sea might look. But what made this island unique were the beautiful ruins up on the hill as well as the fact that there were no trees. Although we only toured the third and largest island, all three islands shared the treeless aspect. While they were beautiful islands with sweeping views, the lack of trees made their beauty rather stark and dramatic.

Using the Ruins analogy, I will note here that my lungs have been in ruins since Thanksgiving. Breathing has been an exhausting chore and the asthma bag I pack each day to go work has been getting heavier and heavier.

There was a bit of a crescendo yesterday that had my doctor sending me to the ER. After a heavy dose of IV steroids, oxygen and breathing treatments, my lungs finally perked up. 12 hours later, I'm wide awake at 4 am thanks to the steroids, but without the chest pain and shortness of breath.... again thanks to the steroids.

I have to go back to see my doctor today for a long term plan, but I'm really hoping that this current level of breathing can be sustained and built upon. I look forward to being able to set goals for the year instead of just trying to get through each day.

Being a ruin has it's glamorous aspects, but it's not all it's cracked up to be!

Wishing you a day of deep breaths and beuatiful moments!

Warmly,

AG

Back to the Beginning

A new year...

A new look for the blog....

Same me!

I'm still not sure what I'm thinking with the blog, but I find myself remarkably unwilling to pull the plug on it. So I'm determined to try to make it a little more alluring and see what else it has in store for me.

At the same time, I find myself dragging my feet on posting. I'm not sure why...

But if I'm going to begin, when better than the start of a new year.

I'm picking this picture because I remember how I felt when K3 took it... happy, giggly, fun! It's a good start!

I'll be making a new start with my asthma this year as well. February will mark 9 years since my onset. As much as I was in denial on my initial diagnosis, I'm unable to deny how crappy my lungs have become. I've determined that I need to go in for further evaluation by a specialist. If there is a way to get my asthma back under control, I need to embrace it. I've almost become accustomed to being chronically short of breath and exhausted and that is unacceptable.

In the meantime, I'm going to dwell in a postive attitude. Perhaps my lungs will find it contagious!

Wishing all of you a very Happy New Year and hope this finds you healthy and joyful!

Warmly,

AG

The View

Remember that old saying about not saying anything at all if it wasn't nice?

I find it the easiest thing in the world to ignore my blog at times. Because I like sharing good news and if there hasn't been much, I pull back. I think I may be a turtle with my head in the shell. Except without the "pond smell".

The lungs are turds. They've been turds. They continue to be turds.

And that's all I have to say about my stupid lungs.

How are things in your world? Are you ready for the holidays?

Do tell! I shall live vicariously through your good news!

High Dessert

Straight out of the camera... This was the sunset Monday night. It's been pretty sunny over here but very cool in the mornings!

I've been swimming the last two mornings in the hotel's saline pool. No chlorine which makes the lungs happy! Thus far my lungs have gone along with the plan with very little griping. I'm hoping to develop a bit more stamina before hitting Ireland and the UK!

And I use the term swimming loosely as I never really developed the skill growing up in Alaska. So I guess the correct phrase is "I've been dog-paddling in the pool and trying to keep my face and hair dry".

I've really enjoyed the conference and have new information to apply to my grant writing work. I've got some new thoughts about advocacy as well, so the conference has been really worthwhile. Now I'm just so glad to be going home today to see my "little" family!

Happy Wednesday!!!

AG out!

Asthma Geek

Look what came in the mail last night!

My new nebulizer!

Hello Beloved... How'd ya like to see the world with me??

The beauty of Ireland? The Scottish highlands? The fair sights of London? The castle ruins in Wales? You and me, Baby... We'll do it together!

Now... lets go charge your lithium ion battery!

Yours in Asthma Geekiness...

AG

*Giddy*

No flowery prose...just thankfulness

Okay, I like the bleeding heart picture but please don't read anything into the name... it is not symbolic of anything except joy and perhaps a longing for a day over 60 degrees.

My path has had a few stubby toed pebbles in it these last couple of weeks. I think I have not been this sick since... well... it has been a while. But as I sit here upright in my home office chair (a huge victory thankyouverymuch) I can tell you that I am counting my blessings and they are legion... At the very least I am thankful for...

• A husband that threw me under the bus when I admitted to Dr. M that I had not reported to the hospital as directed. No hiding behind TOG.
• A doctor that did not pulverize me into sub-atomic particles for defying him for the first time ever. Thank you Dr. M for letting me live and not firing me as a patient.
• A nebulizer that continues to deliver a fine lung mist even though it is wore out and tired. C'mon Buddy! You can do it!
• A daughter that stayed home to take care of me for two days, feeding and juicing me, bringing me meds and giving me a cold bath!

• Nurse Madeline and the other members of the brute squad who laid "paw" upon me and wouldn't get off me no matter how much I begged  
• Friends who texted, and twittered and facebooked and fussed. You know who you are.
• And finally, lungs... who though wimpy, seemingly tissue paper thin and irritable as a wet cats in a burlap bag stood up to yet another infection, massive doses of steroids and other insulting cures and came out the other side still doing the good air in-bad air out thing!

All the while I missed World Asthma Awareness day. While hardly a day I felt like celebrating at the time, I am glad that someone out there recognizes all the goofy lung gyrations some of us go through. And while I have no particular yen to be the poster child for lung gunk, I am exceeding grateful that others have done so. Admittedly, it makes being a lunger that much less insulting.

And now, back to my recliner where I will endeavor to actually work and breathe at the same time.

To borrow a phrase from a dear friend....Shalom Baby!

AG out!