In which our path is revealed
Thursday, August 19, 2010 at 7:07AM 
Our original path of diagnosis for K3 led us from the very helpful Dr. M who referred us to the university and a lovely neurologist who, having insufficient documentation to make a diagnosis, referred us for testing at an autism center which is an off shoot of the university's autism testing and treatment center.
I spoke with the doctoral student who will be evaluating K3 and several items came to light...
- We don't just need a diagnosis, but actual testing scores for IQ etc, if we hope to become eligible for state services.
- The state disability folks in my county refer kids to her already for testing. She's likely good at her work and her report will carry a lot of weight/be indisputable.
- After a long phone conversation, she indicated that she wouldn't be surprised that K3 likely has autism but that isn't sufficient for state services. She will need to be retarded as well. It is the combination of autism and mental retardation (low IQ) that makes a person eligible for state services.
- They don't take insurance. We will have to pay out-of-pocket for K3's evaluation and testing. A minimum of 10 hours of intake and testing and the same number of hours in report writing plus the closing session with us, two additional hours. payment for individual testing days will be due at each of the 4-5 appoints needed.
I've talked to The Old Goat about all of this and yes, he is (as always) the voice of reason. We have to do it, we'll worry about the money later.
I talked to K2 about it and her eyes glazed over.
I finally talked to K3 about it and she got that panicked look in her eyes. Other than the initial 1.5 hour intake where it is her and I, the rest of the testing is solo. I get why I cannot sit next to her during the testing, but that is her coping mechanism when someone asks her something and she doesn't understand. She turns to me or looks at me... she knows I'll help her. To do the testing alone makes her feel very anxious.
While I'm fairly certain autism is the correct diagnisis for my little K3, I'm a little worried about the IQ. While she's had 3 tests so far during her life, she was much younger then. None of them showed her to be in the "average" range of intelligence. I feel angry and defensive just writing that.
It is a swirling vortex of feelings... I've spent her entire life prepared to thrash anyone that called her stupid... and now, I'm hoping that she'll test "below average" again... so that at least she will have state services after The Old Goat and I pass on to our rewards.
Life sure has a funny way of helping you see things from all sides...
daughters, disability, doctors in Daughters, What's it all about?, anxiety 
Reader Comments (12)
A label from the government is one thing compared to a label from schoolhouse bullies. Whatever the government says, whether her IQ tests low or not, YOU know how smart, kind, understanding and fabulous she is.
Good luck with all that this entails!
I totally understand even though our situation is different. Every year I have to go through the same mounds of paper work for Cdub from his insurance company and social security. I have to keep telling them his arm has not grown back! Morans!
Good luck with all this AG. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Let me know if I can help.
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IQ is not the measure of the person. IQ does not measure kindness, creativity or overall ability. Hoping she will score low on this test is not bad because a low score does not mean she is stupid. It means that she needs more support in some areas and probably does just fine in others. It means that she could get the support that she needs now and for the future. Think of it like a golf score, just this once. :)
Ugh. Hugs and kisses to you all. That's all I can offer.
Sad that the government has programs in place to teach kids not to label and bully when that is exactly what they are doing. Pisses me off, to be honest. Nothing like a good hypocrite to brighten one's day.
Yes, life is weird like that. You know that K3 is a wonderful young lady - why do you need to prove that she isn't what others consider 'normal" to get her the help she needs? Good luck!
This is my first visit here, but besides my own blog, I'm also the editor of Jobs4Autism.com, and so this caught my interest. I'm curious how old K3 is and what state you live in. I'm surprised about the necessity of a low IQ for state services and not just autism. Those two sometimes go together, but quite often those with autism have a higher than average IQ.
Good luck - I'll come back to see how it went.
Good luck with it all. I hope you get the outcome you need, and that K3 isn't too horribly stressed during the solo portion.
I can't even begin to imagine the crazy, conflicting thoughts and emotions surrounding this experience with your baby. I so would love to give you both a hug. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with you. You are one hella mama for doing the absolute very best and very most for your daughter, even when it just plain sucks to have to go through it all.
Well, now. Wow. Yes, she'll be anxious for her test, but the people who will be administering are well-equipped to deal with the anxiety, as they do it on a regular basis. She needs to get past this in order to get some well-deserved aid. We all have to do things we don't want to do, to jump the hoops, to get what we need sometimes. I wish you luck with it all, and hope that all goes smoothly.
All the best to you, TOG and K3 as you deal with the testing. Praying for all of you. Hugs.
I do not recall "glazing my eyes" during this conversation...I thought I expressed my agreement or "affirmation" that "this is just another step"...perhaps not. Anyway, I do feel the same way you mom. It's not the greatest feeling hoping my sister achieves her previous "below average" scores on an IQ test. But it's who she is, we know that. I don't expect her to suddenly do any better than she has in the past, and that's ok :)
Sending many hugs and positive thoughts to all of you.