Sleeping
Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 6:35AM 
Even when he's sleeping, Ben is managing to look rather happy. I had a serious case of envy as I edited this picture.
I am wrestling with a sleep demon that I can't seem to beat. I know, I know... at my age I shouldn't expect to sleep, yada, yada. But this has become so dysfunctional, I'm at a loss.
For the past several years, sleeping in for me means about 6 or 6:30 am. Most mornings I do not need an alarm. In fact, I have not set an alarm since I came home from the doctor August 19th. I awaken instantaneously at 4:30 each morning. Sometimes 4. Once... 3:45. This would not be so bad except I am now falling asleep no later than 8 pm at night. Even worse, I wake up around 11:30 and am up until at least one in the morning. Every night. Last night I was up until 2am. Each morning, it takes forever to wake up and I lay here and tell the Brute Squad that I will stay up tonight, that I will shift this pattern back to something healthy. Each night I fall asleep earlier and earlier. Last night it was right after dinner.
I'm not getting much done. Just the basics... work, dishes, cooking, that's it. I have un-edited pictures, posts I want to write, a laptop to diagnose and none of it is getting done.
And I'm still working at home... although the paint fumes at work are getting better. I feel like a turtle with my head in my shell. Maybe if I was out and about all day, the sleep thing would be less dramatic and I could kick it. Instead, it just seems like this huge thing that's hovering over me all day long. I'm always tired.
And I'm done whining.
It's just that I had to verbalize it.
Maybe now I can kick it.
AG out~
sleep, sleepless in aging gracefully, anxiety, insomnia 
Reader Comments (7)
I think it's time to tell the doctor you need something to get over this hump. Just sayin'. And have I told you lately that I need to bite that baby?
He is such a happy baby. I want to kiss him til he giggles
Okay. Right before you cant keep your eyes open another second, take 2 Extra Strength Tylenol ... this should help you sleep at least til 4 w/o waking ... I wake every morning at 4 .. look at the clock and go back to sleep til a little before 6 .. I dont take the tylenol every nite, if I have a bad night, the next nite I take the tylenol so there is no repeat. Try it, tylenol cant hurt. I also have a friend who is a NeoNatal Night Nurse (say that 3 X fast) who swears by Benedryl ...
Ben is so adorable!
I don't recommend this, but I found out that if you stay up until 1:30AM talking to friends after seeing a Pearl Jam concert, then get up at 5:30AM to take them to the airport you will sleep 10 hours straight the next night!
Have you tried drugs? Controlled release or something, maybe herbal if you're not into the chemicals? I heard you can start going really mental if you have too much sleep deprivation, just worrying a little because I love you :)
He even smiles when he's sleeping! Such an adorable face.
Good luck with your sleeping issues...been there occasionally and it ain't fun.
There's nothing wrong with a little Ambien to help you get to a normal sleep pattern. Call your doc...do it now!
Ben is beautiful! His full head of hair is so gorgous and that smile...well...I could just eat him up!
Have you had a sleep study done? If your insurance covers it, it might be worth checking out. I learned that I was exhausted all the time because I have a sleep apnea that was not letting me get any REM sleep because I kept stopping breathing and would wake myself up enough to start again. Now I have a machine that keeps air flowing into my lungs all night and I sleep much better. It may or may not have anything to do with what's going on with you, but it might be a test that could help. Hope something breaks out of this soon.