Unsophisticated West Coast Hicks
Monday, July 6, 2009 at 9:43PM Headed your way!
In case you're wondering what spurred yesterday's anxiety attack... In about a week, The Baroness von Bloggenschtern and yours truly will be winging our way East-ward to meet fellow bloggers at Blog Fest 2009. Unlike BlogHer, Blog Fest will be smaller in scale, enjoy much warmer temperatures and have "off the charts" humidity going for it. Not to mention some of the funniest, sweetest women you've ever met. I can't think why they're letting me come... Perhaps their vetting process is similar to the one used on last year's republican VP candidate...?
I think most of us are experiencing some level of anxiety as we pack... after all there's a lot on the line. The Baroness is representin' 604 (the area code for Vancouver, BC).... Home of the 2010 Winter Olympics. As the Blog Fest representative for her entire Province, she's understandably fretful about creating a positive impression. As a courtesy, I'm showcasing the 2010 Olympic mascots. Let this be a precursor to those who have yet to meet The Baroness... she's twice this adorable (and much less furry)!
Of the two of us, I have less pressure. I'm only representing the home of $4 a cup coffee
and really expensive operating systems...
and everyone's favorite foot fashion... the ubiquitous socks with sandals.
As a footnote (HAR! I crack myself up!), I will not be subscribing to the dual shod fashion while navigating points east! Mostly because I don't want people laughing behind my back as I drag my luggage through the airport! [footnote 2: Asthmagirl's luggage is not made of possum skin. She's upgraded to raccoon.]
So what am I worried about as I consider going off to meet these friends? Not much. A brief survey of attendees indicates that 90% of us believe we're pudgy, uninteresting and poorly groomed. That same 90% believe that everyone else there will be slim, fascinating, well traveled, bilingual and incapable of sweating. I've done the math... I'm pretty sure all of us will be sweating.
My one request to fellow attendees? If I look like I'm about to keel over from the heat and humidity and my death grip on my inhaler is slipping...? Please, do not ask me if I feel okay or tell me I don't look so good. Let's work on some alternate phrasing, shall we?
"The spam carving contest is over here" could easily substitute for " Holy cow, is she even breathing".
or...
"Does anyone know how to do a Viking funeral" could be code for "someone find her inhaler before we have to set her ablaze and push her out to sea".
And the Baroness and I have already worked up our response to any major faux pas that we might unknowingly make... "Well, that's how it's done on the West Coast". Um... Baroness? I think we need to work on that before we get on the plane next week. Just sayin...
Yours in Blog Fest anticipation,
Asthmagirl
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Reader Comments (12)
Sincere gratitude for being the group spokesperson on this one - I'm busy in my happy place right now, and unavailable for comment...
As for your last sentence, how about a delicate snort, a derisive toss of the hair and a glib "Oh, you couldn't possibly understand- it's a PacNoWe thing..."
Or maybe we could learn some Coast Salish...
ZOMG!!!!! Those socks! You did it! You made me laugh! Now I'm going for a run so I can lose this pesky 25 before next week;)
Now you have me entirely curious as to just how many different area codes are going to be reppin' (as my eldest would say) out there.
I dare you guy guys to wear those little stick-on things that say "Hello My Name Is...." And then put your blog name.
No? Well, it was an idea.
Oh and contrary to popular Maine lore, Meaghan and I don't end every sentence with "A'yup" nor do we all love lobster...well not me anyhow. Can't stand the red, sea-going cockroaches.
Once you get there all your worries will fade away...
I really wish I was going, but Handy Man is obsessed with gettting the house in order for an assessment and that meant I couldn't spend any $$. :(
I would love to meet you two for dinner before you leave though!
Just throw around a bunch of ya'lls, "bless your heart's", and fan your self constantly while carrying around an ice tea...you'll fit right in.
I will be reppin' the 757, which use to be the 804, back in the day.
Looking forward to meeting you both!
Have a blast girl!!! I would love one day to attend a blog meeting/convention. Oh well. I want details and pics.
You are so funny. But now I'm worried -- I didn't know I was gonna hafta REPRESENT anybody! I may have to blog about this, since I didn't last night or hardly at all this month even . . .
Just found out iMom isn't making the trip -- bummer! Was hoping to meet her too. But I'm excited about meeting the other two-thirds of our West Coast Contingent. Can't wait.
And laughing out loud at the really expensive OS comment. This Mac user had quite a chuckle at Bill's expense, yes she did. : )
Oh wow, what an adventure. And Seattle has far more than those three things. Mountains, AG, MOUNTAINS! Where is Blogfest? Can't wait to hear all about it!!!
If you guys make any faux pas, it is acceptable to say "well, that's how it's done (or said or whatever) in Canada. Many Americans know very little about Canada and are prepared to believe anything. Sometimes we have lots of fun with that! But not in a mean way!
*snort* You HAVE to wear the ever so fashionable socks w/ the sandals!
Have I mentioned I am SOOOO jealous...I totally want to be there. *sigh*
Have a drink in memory of me.
Comin' to ya live from the 301... Looking forward to meeting you! I love that you're making the trek!
I seriously hope their is a lot of photo uploading from this honky tonk event.