Born to do what she does...

I've been having a pretty good sense of guilt about not taking care of the jewelery purchase like I was supposed to! For the back story, please read this post first...

So yesterday, I decided to throw off my Bad Wife persona. I had TOG take me down to the darn jewelery store. As we're puttering around I was approached by a sales woman. How to describe her... she looked like she'd taught college level American lit for 25 years: hip, great glasses, semi frumpy jacket, eyes that could see through the sharpest of excuses on why your homework isn't done. All I could think of was "what is she doing in a jewelery store?"

Once I told her my story, she peered over the top of her rims with her laser eyes and said something to the effect of how she was going to help me. Then in staccato questions she began steering me to side of the store.

"Pearls aren't right for you. You do like color though...?"

"Yellow gold or white? Probably yellow with your complexion..."

"Gem stones, right?"

"No, that piece isn't for you, too fussy..."

"Let's get away from these blue stones. Men always choose those. They're simple. Let's find you something unique"

TOG wandered off.

"Not surprising dear, men don't have the patience for these kinds of decisions"

"Is he ADHD? He's not going to be much help is he?"

"Trust me, I've been doing this for a long time..."

It got down to where I was deciding between two pieces, and yes...I could see that she'd been doing this awhile and knew her stuff. Then she said something about being of a certain age... I blurted out my age and she leaned across the counter and laid her hand over mine and said "Oh honey! Do you sleep?"

Me: Are you kidding? Sleep? Not like a normal person...

Her: I thought I was going nuts until someone said it's age.

Me: Me too! Is it hormone levels do you think?

Her: My ovaries are in a beach chair somewhere sipping Mai Tais!

Me: Mine are on a cruise ship sailing through the Panama Canal!

Her: Are you cold all the time?

Me: Unless I wake up covered with sweat!

Her: Amen Sister! And what's with the weight gain?

Me: I've given up cookies and nothing helps...

Her: Are you up half the night checking the doors?

Me: People should know not to just drop by after a certain stage of life, call first

Her: My daughters don't understand this!

Me: Mine are getting it!

TOG chose this time to wander back.

Her: You might as well take off, Dearie. We're about to wind this up and go for drinks and nibbles! She's my new best friend!

TOG: Um... well...

Me: Don't worry dear, the worst is over. I'll take this one. *points*

My selection won't be ready until Monday. I really kind of like it. It's subtle.

In the meantime, thanks for a rockin' good time Elvera! You're very good at what you do!

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