Turmoil and honesty
Sunday, November 22, 2009 at 8:32AM 
It's Sunday morning and while the nursing care has developed a life and pattern all its own, the emotions surrounding "the accident" are swirling with with their own energy.
The most important thing is that K3 continues to heal. She not only had yogurt yesterday, but homemade chicken broth and ice cream for dinner. Her pain is very manageable on her meds and we're making progress in getting her mouth to open a little further.
We are not showing her mouth in pictures. Not because it's horrible or disfigured. Its not. The surgeon did a good job sewing up her lip and the ice helped to bring the swelling down. 99% of the damage is inside her mouth so even if you saw her face, you wouldn't be shocked. However, I feel strongly that showing it should be up to K3. I take her picture for updates so you can see her strong spirit. Its up to her determine if she wants to reveal anything else.
Emotionally, we're all going through the process. K3 is struggling a bit with her sudden "celebrity". She's used to being in the background and not being noticed so much. So having the spotlight has been a bit of a burden. She feels like she has to respond to everyone and I'm coaching her that she does not have talk to everyone that calls or answer their questions about what happened.
For the family, its a little hard to respond to callers at times, at least for me. Many of them have emotionally charged responses to what happened. It is automatically assumed that whoever hit her is an asshole or a dirt bag and they feel vengeful and want to make sure we're "going after them."
We're not quite there. We don't know what happened and so we don't really have anger. We haven't asked K3 really because she felt so guilty initially for being hit. She thought we would be disappointed in her for not being safe. She says she was careful. So our questions to her are "how is your pain" and "do you need anything" and "are you ready for more ointment". We don't question her about the accident because it doesn't matter.
We haven't seen the police report, we don't even know which city responded. But I think I'm at the point where I'm ready to know what happened. Not because I want to be angry or vengeful, but because I want to know how to help K3 deal. If it wasn't her fault, she needs to know that. If it was, we need to help her come up with a plan for being safer.
And lastly, she's received a lot of praise for being brave. And she has been. But I'm working with her on not always having to be. She's got a lot of tough stuff headed her way as they put her mouth back together and people should understand if she's not always brave about it. She doesn't have to buy approval with bravery.
Not to leave TOG out... he's sick as twenty dogs. Swine flu is kicking his behind. I'm grateful that he's spending 99% of his time upstairs in his office. None of us want to see K3 get sick on top of everything else.
Off to get cleaned up and go back to the pharmacy for more drugs. I think they're going to give me a punch card... buy 5 prescriptions, get the 6th one free. Sick humor.
Gosh I'm tired.
AG out.



Reader Comments (10)
Still thinking of you....
Oh goodness! You are the best mom and handling this very well. Afterall, you are a strong woman.
Poor K3 won't be able to have any turkey dinner. Maybe she'll just have to wait for the turkey soup, right?
You are such a good mom. But just like the bravery, it's okay not to play the good mom sometimes, to take a bit of time for you. I'm sorry to hear that TOG is ill on top of everything else. Stay well, AG.
So glad to hear she is on the mend. And so brave.
* sigh *
Lots of good thoughts coming from Maryland straight to you . . .
You are all such an incredible family...
Love and hugs
Hang in there! You will need a mini- just-be-all-by-yourself vacation when all of this is said and done. I vote for you to come to Maryland ;0)
Hugs to all of you - hoping every one heals soon, and that you stay well. Oh, that's right, we're moms and not allowed to get sick.
You are such a great mom...and I am so glad she is healing so nicely. It could have been, weel, you know....Hugs and love to you!
Poor kid. I sent her an animal photo essay which I hope she enjoys, she does not have to reply!!! I hope TOG is on the mend soon and that the flu keeps its distance!
Awwww, honey, I feel for all of you. It's all just a horrible situation, but I admire you so much for the way you are handling things. After all, the Mom pretty much sets the pace for how things are handled. You're a wonderful mother and I'm so impressed with your *processing* of all this. First things first. You rock as a mom, trust me.