5K ass reality check

Asthmagirl did the math. 5K is 3.1 miles. As much fun as Asthmagirl has hiking and biking and turning her lungs inside out on on the side of a mountain, she hasn't been running in years and frankly readers... she never liked running that much. Ever. So she doesn't.

The theory in hiking is that if you want to get in shape to hike... hike. Nothing will make your gluts scream like dragging them up the side of a mountain in March after a winter of fruit cake and turkey dinners. The same theory works in biking. Want to ride a bike for 30 miles without getting a sore ass? Put in some saddle time on the bike. So, after a brief and hopefully one-time burst of logic, Asthmagirl has gotten off her 5K ass and started running. And you know what? Running uses a set of muscles that apparently Asthmagirl was holding in reserve for that special hiking trail.... or a bank hold up... or cleaning that shower stall. And you know what else? The first time was the worst.

Friday, she ran 2 miles on the flat track. Where running means jogging like a drunken yak interspersed with a staggering walk until she scooped her lungs up off the track and she could jog again. The girls soccer team was practicing in the infield and Asthmagirl was pretty sure they were laughing at her. She thought about staggering jogging up to them and reminding them that they should respect their elderly asthmatic yaks but decided it was more appealing to stagger to her car and drive home to eat lunch and soak in the tub.

She then walked two miles that night at the football game (where she envisioned herself being just this fit [see below] or not...)


The next day, she hiked 6 miles round trip with a 2000 foot gain. She was so sore, she took the next few days off with the ultimate goal being that she be able to rise from a chair without having to cover her gasp of pain and the automatic clutching motion toward her cramping gluts.

The night before last she ran a mile and a half. No staggering, just a super slow jog. Not much walking either. At this rate, she should be able to run the slowest 5K in history by the time she's 50.... or 51. She's running again tonight with a goal of 2 miles again. She may survive it....

The best news of all, she's given up cookies (again). The bad news. She hasn't lost an ounce.

She wonders if she'll ever be buff....

Yours in pudge,