*The following letter may not be suitable for the male members of our audience. Asthmagirl cannot guarantee your level of personal comfort should you choose to continue. Just so you know....
How I miss you. Sort of.
How many years has it been? 15? 16? A very long time indeed. When last we spent time together you were a mess... very bohemian in your approach to things, haphazard even. A virtual mosaic of self torture. I really felt that it would be better for us to part on the best terms possible rather than to remain in such a painful relationship. Although our parting was very abrupt and final, I have thought of you from time to time and I can't help but hope that you have gone on to better things. Before I close our chapter completely, I do have one final message to share with you and that is gratitude.
How thankful I am that prior to your sudden downward spiral, you were there for me; selfless and efficient... Never shirking your role in life. Regular... nay methodical in your duties. It was easy to take you for granted as you were my constant companion. Tagging along on vacations, inviting yourself along on camp outs and fishing trips, even surprising me on occasion when I least expected you. (There was more than one late night run to the store for supplies... giggling together like conspirators as we raced up and down the 'necessary aisle' soaring with the wings!) We were very close. And your support of my children did not go unnoticed. There were times when I suspected you were more dedicated to their comfort than to mine. Do I go too far in saying that if not for you, they would not be here?
Our final year together was strained. I swear you were more drunk than sober... ever spewing and burping. Really rather off-putting if you ask me. And those... those... creatures that you insisted on harboring. Disgusting specimens... always lolling about and sponging off of you. Rather like parasites or tumors. You seemed to quickly master unhealthy relationships... a latent tendency? It was very difficult to decide to part ways, but it was clear that you were devoted to your new companions and there was no separating them from you. We tried.
So many years have passed though and I find now that I can remember you fondly, if for no other reasons than our milestones together... becoming a woman, all my babies... sigh. You were a true friend. And I thank you for all the contributions you made to my life... and my children's.
But I wouldn't have you back on a bet.
PS~ Your little twin cousins, the Ovarians? They send their best.