With the countdown to Christmas at less than two weeks, I've taken the liberty of creating an availability schedule for the remaining 13 days. Compliance is strongly encouraged.
- Today is my last day of availability for holiday shopping. As of tomorrow I will be unavailable for trips to anything resembling a mall.
- Due to my newly developed "lack of patience" I will also be unavailable for trips to stores that are near a mall and will cause me to sit in "insane" traffic.
- Unless the tree is falling over, I find myself remarkably unavailable for trips to the hardware store
- Particularly if you want me to look at outdoor lights....
- Also noting that I am unavailable for the stringing of outdoor lights... or the holding of ladders... or the finding of extension cords.
- It should go without saying that I'm not available for prolonged outdoor activities that make me cold... unless there's going to be people with helmets hiking balls.
- Finally... completely and utterly unavailable for any occasion laden with artificial scent. Christmas does not smell like pinesol or cinnamon hotties.
Things I am available for:
- trips to the brewpub
- holiday movies
- puppy cuddling
- admiring the outdoor lights hung by others
- baking cookies
- drives to the mountains to see the snow
- non fat green tea lattes from Starbucks
- ornament shopping
- Swedish massage
[editor's note: Asthmaagirl reserves the right to make changes to the list at anytime. However, the No Mall clause remains in effect for the duration of the holiday season.]
What's your availability?