Maddie Speaks

I'm sure many of you wonder what your little animals are thinking. It may surprize you to know that I no longer have to wonder as Madeline has cleverly perfected her version of human communication and has no trouble telling me how she feels about her world. Given that you all might be wondering as well, I sat down and did a formal interview with her. In her own words:

Me: Maddie, are you ready to begin?

Opening

Maddie: Lets get this show on the road.

Me: What is your first memory of me?

Maddie: Are you kidding? You barged into the nursery, picked me up and started sniffing my head.

Me. Did you like me?

Maddie: I thought you were a kook. I couldn't believe you thought I wanted to go home with you.

Me: What was with you crawling up my neck during the 3 hour drive home?

Maddie: Did you see how fast you were going? I was scared to death.

Me: Did you like your new home?

Maddie: All I wanted to do was sleep off the trauma and you kept pointing the camera at me.

Eyes

Me: What was the big deal with sleeping?

Maddie: Are you kidding? I felt stressed.

Chair

Me: Okay.... What's up with this photo here?

Maddie: Fiona and I were practicing for the alien invasion. We want to look like we're on their side in case they drop by the house.

Alien

Me: Aliens? Right. What about me.

Maddie: Have you seen me? You're on your own, Mom.

Me: Great. Okay, what was your worst moment ever?

Maddie: Are you kidding?

Cassie

Me: You were scared of Cassie... why?

Maddie: You don't remember the butt biting? She was ruthless! And mean! And ruthless!

Me: She was tiny. What else are you scared of?

Maddie: What is this? An intervention? Where's the camera?

Me: Just answer the questions.

Maddie: Fine. I don't like hardwood floors, my food dish, water in any form, the front porch, riding in the car or going to the vet.

Me: What about Cassie?

Maddie: Does she have to touch me? She ruins everything.

Me: Who do you like best, me or dad?

Maddie: It depends on which one is home.

Me: What are your favorite things?

Maddie: Playing...

On_head

Maddie: Sleeping...

P5070007_copy

Maddie: Trying to intimidate you into giving me a biscuit...

Give_it_to_me

Me: Yeah... I've seen that look before. Forget it... we're not done here yet.

Maddie: How bout this one? How's this working for you?

Beg

Me: It's closer. What about biscuits? Do you like biscuits?

Maddie: Give me the biscuit. Now.

Biscuit_face

Me: Wow. You're intense. That's almost creepy. Okay... last question. What is your absolute most favorite thing in the whole world. Even better than when I come home from work?

Maddie: You're one whacky lady. You know that don't you?

Me: Maddie... Oh Madeline...        Where's.... your.... SOCK?

Sock_1

Sock_three

Maddie: Fine. I have a sock issue. Do you still love me?

Me: Give us a hug.

Hug

Me: Thanks Madeline.

Maddie: Where's the biscuit?