Milestones

It wouldn't be February without realizing that indeed an milestone has been reached.

This being 2013, it has now been 10 years since I was diagnosed with Asthma.

I tried to think of some things I could be thankful for and in this case, it was surprisingly easy!

I'm thankful for the support system I have in place that makes my bitchy lungs easier to deal with... From my beloved TOG to my crazy cool doctor, to friends, family, coworkers and online lung buddies.

I'm thankful that I've learned enough about the disease to be able to manage it proactively.

I'm thankful that it hasn't impacted my love of traveling, it just means a really heavy carry-on!

I'm grateful that slowing down brought me my love of photography and my goofball Brute Squad.

I'm grateful that well managed, my lungs are well behaved for the greater part of the year.

I'm grateful for health insurance, because I just looked at last year's bills and DANG!

I'm grateful that asthma taught me acceptance, something I've often struggled with.

I'm thankful that as far as a health challenge goes, I've got it pretty good.

So here's to the next 10 years!

With love,

AG

The Traveling Asthmatic

The Old Goat and I have been traveling a lot the last few years. Traveling with my lungs requires a wee bit of planning and we have this down to fine art.

1. mobile nebulizer. This comes with a car charger and an AC charger so I can neb anywhere. Includes required duoneb solution.

2. Peak flow meter. Easiest way to tell if my lungs are taking a dive.

3. Asthma necklace. Because you want people to know why you sound like a seal with whooping cough.

4. Rescue inhaler. It doesn't cure you, but it keeps you upright for the debacle.

5. Advair. Faithfully. Keeps the air moving in and out.

5. Singulair. Faithfully... diminishes my response to the worst lung irritants.

Not shown: Prednisone. If worse came to worse, I'd rather take a little prednisone than have a lung-y vacation.

If flying, all of this goes in my carry on with spare inhalers in my luggage.

If prolonged trip, add "just in case" antibiotics and antihistimines.

See, it's totally do-able!

AG out!

On being comfortably numb...

Taken with my Blackberry...

Last weekend, TOG took me to Vancouver to see Roger Waters. Yes, I was excited to go! He was excited to go! There was great merriment and anticipation coupled with the drinking of cider and the purchasing of T shirts!

And then the lights dimmed and the concert started.

And the entire stadium turned into a the equivilent of a Turkish hookah parlor. There was no oxygen, only a neverending cloud of marajuana smoke... constant, potent and coming at us from all sides.

After trying every thing to treat my lungs including over-using my inhaler and practically lying on the floor (smoke rises, right?) I gave up and left the concert and made my way back to the hotel where after applying some different meds, my lungs relaxed enough for me to breathe comfortably.

In hindsight, I learned a few things:

• The marajuana laws are far more relaxed in Vancouver BC than in Seattle.
• My lungs are even less tolerant of pot smoke than cigarette smoke.
• This might be the end of my concert going career...
• I'll probably never visit a Turkish hookah parlor
• I'm not sure I could pass a pee test right now.
• When my ribs and neck start hurting, I know I'm having a pretty bad asthma attack.

Other than that Mrs. Asthmagirl... how did you like the concert?

Roger Waters sounds really amazing even if you can't see him through all the smoke and watery eyes from coughing!

AG out

It Blows

Having just celebrated my 7th anniversary of the adult onset asthma, I have reached a few conclusions:

• Asthma doesn't draw the line at the asthmatic, it screws with everyone they love
• When you're in the grip of an attack, panic sets in no matter how much you wish it wouldn't
• It makes you say things you regret later (provided you can talk)

Case in point, The Old Goat and I went down to the sports bar for a pizza and a beverage Saturday. The University of Washington was playing in the March Madness tournament and TOG is a basketball fanatic. I vastly prefer football, so I was just along for moral support!

(One of the things I love most about this state is that they've banned smoking in bars and restaurants so I can go anywhere now and not worry about my lungs)

So there I was perched on my stool enduring the mayhem taking in the atmosphere when I realized my lungs were taking in something wretched. It happened so fast, I was caught off guard. I took a couple of breaths to be sure... yup, no warning cough, just mega attack.

I grabbed for my inhaler, something that happens so rarely in public that TOG actually tore his eyes glanced casually away from the many screens to see what my problem was. When the first two hits had zero effect and my chest continued to tighten, TOG suggested I slip out quietly and see if fresh air would help.

While outside, I began to ponder whether I'd be able to get back to my stool. One of the side effects of a mega attack (for me) is the inability to make a good decision. I hit the inhaler for the third time and made a beeline in the door for TOG and hoped he'd take over the decision making while I focused on the whole "in with the good air, out with the bad" routine.

TOG quietly pelted me with questions... had it helped? did I need to leave? could I drive? should we go visit the lovely new ER?

Then I said the most horrible thing. In hind site... so unfair to TOG. So unfair...

"I don't know, just don't let me die here." I whispered.

Granted, my chest was super tight and painful, and I could not exhale to save my life. I was trying to squelch the panic, but it would take a better person than me to not panic at the inability to catch my breath. But to throw it all on TOG like that... Wretched.

TOG coached me through inhaler hits at regular intervals with the option of ER if it didn't improve quickly. By the time I got to about six, I finally felt my chest start to loosen. On seven, I was able to take a decent breath. By eight, my hands were shaking from the meds but I was breathing. And it was then that the guy who had been sat down next to me right before the attack came back from the bathroom... soaked in cologne.

Apparently, I had been exposed to a portion of his chemical cocktail without getting the actual scent. TOG and I immediately changed seats, which probably looked odd to the guy, but who cares. I was breathing!

I try to turn each lung episode into a learning experience and yet sometimes, there's just nothing to learn about managing my asthma any better. It is what it is.

And I continue to balance being both grateful and horrified at the role it forces TOG to play. He blows off any apology because he knows I do everything I can to control my asthma.

Which leaves me with the conclusion that basically, asthma just sucks. And blows.

Comedy

Saturday night, TOG and I went to a comedy festival with friends. This is dangerous for two reasons...

1. Comedy makes me laugh really hard (duh!). Thus I rate comedy shows on the official Asthmagirl  Inhaler Lung Scale (AILS) which is similar to how scientists predict earthquakes except far more exact.
2. Most comedy festivals are in downtown Seattle which is triple jeopardy for the lungs; bus diesel, parking garages AND laughing as hard as you can...? Time for AILS!

So the two headliners were:

Mike Birbiglia and... 

  

Kathleen Madigan!

While the two opening comedians were very good, these two had me reaching for the inhaler multiple times. (Yes, laughter is a trigger!).

Kathleen Madigan alone? We saw her last year. She was a 4.5 on the AILS.... Kathleen Madigan and Mike Birbiglia? They scored an all time high at 6!

Thus, on Sunday I was struggling with how bad my chest hurt from both coughing as hard as I could and laughing until I cried!

I would far rather have asthma issues from laughter than anything else though!

AG out!

Being Thankful

My old boss always told me that gratitude is the great leveler... that we all have things in our life to be thankful for. That thankfulness helps us to approach each day a little more humble... that it teaches us kindness and patience. Today I'm thankful for all the positive things in my life over the last week...

• Co-workers that helped me through the worst asthma attack in years (see Living with Asthma)
• My beloved Dr. M. who invariably finds a place in his completely booked schedule to see me
• Short dose of steroids which although keeping me up most of the night, appears to be motivating the lungs to do all the right things 
• The brute squad for laying on me and cheering me up
• TOG for reminding me to take all my meds
• Having a recliner which enables me to sleep upright until my lungs can handle laying down.
• My boss for finally understanding how mortifying my asthma is to me
• My laptop Guido, for letting me get the bulk of my work done remotely last week
• K2 and K3 for helping around the house

I'm still trying to process everything that's happened the last few days... it feels like I'm in a fog which is likely due to a tremendous lack of sleep and lots of breathing treatments. But I'm really trying to take to heart what I need to learn from last week so that I can do better next time. I'm thinking kitch-y inhaler necklace!

I'm also trying to be patient because the things that I want to do right now are going to take a couple more weeks of recovery to do well. I'd love to hike Rattlesnake Ledge again for mother's day, but TOG has to work and I'm pretty sure my lungs would pop right out of my chest if I tried to gain altitude. I'm just now walking up the stairs without passing out at the top!

What I am doing is bringing a homemade lunch to my coworkers....

...the ones that went for my inhaler, got me to my car, started my breathing treatments and sat with me through the after effects of medication. I want to thank them with something I made with my own hands, something I took the time and trouble over. It's the least I can do...

Do you have something you're thankful for?

Asthmagirl out

Poor Decisions

Just a quick piece of advice... if you have one of those neck warmer seed things, and you put it in the microwave to warm it up... you shouldn't set it for 5 minutes and walk away.

Someone at work did. I was at the sink washing my hands when she came running and threw the microwave door open and the smoke rolled out. I couldn't help but cough as I backed away and retreated to my office around the corner. I was surprised moments later when the smoke penetrated into my office through the air system. It only took moments for me to realize that I needed to leave the building quickly. This is the beginning of NOT recognizing what is happening. I paused to think about what I might need and grabbed my work keys so I wouldn't be locked out.

Things I didn't grab:

• inhaler
• coat
• purse
• cellphone
• car keys

The result had me living one of my worst moments... a full blown asthma attack in front of my boss, fellow managers and the girl with the neck pillow. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I could not even get enough air to say "inhaler". Fortunately, one of the managers knew what to do and sent someone for my inhaler. I'm on my knees now out on the sidewalk and once I had the inhaler, it took 6 or 7 hits before I could quit coughing and catch my breath. This lead to lightheadedness, uncontrolable shaking and chattering teeth. They got me up and to my car where I got my portable nebulizer out and did an Atrovent treatment. While staff came out to check on me regularly, one manager sat in my car with me for over an hour until my breathing was stable enough to drive myself home. 

When I got home, I got the word from TOG that I made another poor decision in not having someone call him. Apparently my reputation for making poor decisions in the midst of asthmatic distress is legion and TOG would have felt better about calling the shots than having folks at work wondering what to do for me. I confess that I was far more concerned with breathing than I was calling home but in hind site, it would have been a smart thing to do.

Now I'm just pondering how to help my lungs recover quickly. Hopefully a moderate amound of meds a couple more days down time will put things back on the right track.

The benefits

As always, after an entertaining foray into the land of the lung fest, it takes a couple days to get back on track. As opposed my quick return to being an insomniac... [I think I have a membership card and a secret decoder ring here somewhere!] As I check back in with family, friends and co-workers, I'm always a little surprised on what I missed out on!

My friend M, at work told me in the first meeting on Tuesday that she kept watching me because although "I'm used to you being so freakin' pale, it's the first time I've seen you with no color to your lips. I thought you were either going to turn blue or fall out of the chair!" How odd... I felt like I was coping well at that point...

From the blog front, I'm trying to make my way back to visiting everyone. I keep getting distracted by a)the huge pile of dishes in the sink and b) all the dust bunnies drifting across the kitchen floor. How did that happen in just a few days? Anyway... I stopped by the Respiratory Therapy Cave and morphed to Rick's blog where I learned about the seven benefits of asthma. So far, I rate myself four out of seven... I have developed perspective, vulnerability, empathy and sharing. I have yet to develop religiosity, intelligence or cleanliness. I really have my doubts about ever developing the cleanliness, but my asthma doesn't have a problem with dust mites or that attitude might change! And the intelligence thing... there are times when I still feel no more intelligent about my asthma than I did 6 years ago. And just for the record, I used to celebrate in kind of a wacko way, my anniversary of becoming an asthmatic, but now I feel blase' about it. It was however six years ago in February of 2003. *confetti* Time flies!

And now... I really want to be non asthmatic for a while! I'm totally burnt out on this winter thing... and this breathing thing... and the bad air crap! It snowed again this morning. It's almost March for goodness sake. I've got a serious yen to run or hike or bike or something. Especially biking... I stare at my bike every morning when I go out to get in my car. I dream of an exotic new bike helmet... I want to throw my camera over my shoulder and take off into the mountains... I've been drooling over a new lens for the last month! I swing back and forth between "I must have it" and "It's awfully expensive, I should wait". The thing is, the used ones on eBay are almost the same price as the new ones at one of the online stores. I've got it in a shopping cart online, I just can't press the "buy it now" button. How pathetic!

Enough Blathering! Have a wonderful day! Dream of spring! And Sandals!

Asthmagirl out!  

Cue the music

Music: $10,000 Pyramid

Clue: Biscuit dough

Answer:...?

Clue: Wall paper paste

Answer: What is things that are white?

Clue: Pie crust

Answer: What is dough? Dough-y?

Clue: Spud like

Answer: What are mashed potatoes?

Clue: It lives

Answer: Asthmagirl's pasty white face! *confetti, applause*

And no, I'm not posting a picture of it. I don't know why I turn whiter than white when I can't breathe... must be that stupid oxygen thing.

The worst appears to be over. I can tell this because instead of sleeping for 12 hours last night, I slept for about 4.5. All systems back to normal! I swear, I will never skip the flu shot again! I was on the phone with our wireless phone dude yesterday.... I'm croaking at him, he's croaking at me and we're both bemoaning the fact that we never got around to the flu shot and sharing what therapies work the best. FYI, he swears by theraflu severe cold- daytime formula. I prefer to max out on tylenol and vitamin water!

So what did I miss while I was jousting with the airways?

Asthmagir out!  

Ick

Nothing to see here... move along...

Spent yesterday in my jammie's sleeping. Dizzy. Headache.

Bodes well for the dinner meeting I have to lead tonight.

Yours in dizziness....

AG